Wednesday, June 30, 2010

"This sentence is false."

One thought

There's a thought that I really enjoy when I see an old car. At one point in time, someone bought that from a car lot and it was fresh out of the wrapper. So that really beat up old corolla you see, someone bought that brand new.

So today's daily memory is for my first car a 1986 toyota corolla FX. It was a great little beater. Knowing what I know now I would have taken better care of it and I may have been driving it today. Live and learn.

It was a fun little whip. It was a manual, my instruction from my dad on how to drive was, here are the keys, you have half an hour to make it to school. I made it! Didn't kill it once, roasted the tires though, but within a few days I was pretty comfortable with it.

(mine was red)

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The sun is so dense that it is incredibly difficult for sunlight to work its way out from the center of the sun, where it is made by nuclear reactions. If sunlight could fly in a straight line unhindered it would take just 2 seconds to reach the surface. In fact, it follows such a tortuous drunkard’s zigzag path that it takes about 30,000 years. Feel today’s sunlight on your face. It was made at the height of the last Ice Age.
- Marcus Chown

daily memory

Watching the sunrise over SFO completely and hopelessly in love.

Monday, June 28, 2010

I will own one of these one day.
What the upstairs bath will soon be.

daily memories,

1. The old band room at the old Evergreen Middle School. It was way cooler than the new one.

2. My first half-marathon. It was hard.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

This was the outfit I wore when I went sky diving.

Lake Isabel

3 memories today:

1. ihop with tom and chaz, "can you make a deal on these?" (chaz after we had ordered our food)

2. wrestling with my neighbor shilo when I was like 4?

3. sitting on top of lake isabel waterfall, wittling sticks and not giving a shit.

Friday, June 25, 2010

my new horn
(on top of the piano at the garage)

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Without labor nothing prospers.  ~Sophocles
(picture by me)

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
Daily Memory:

I remember putting up blankets from the top bunk down when dana and I shared bunk beds. It made a nice enclosed little fort. I also remember once while playing on top of the top bunk some how I fell off into a suit case full of matchbox cars. Dana and I just laughed, I didn't have a scratch on me.

Phrases I will no longer tolerate.

Phrases I will no longer tolerate:

1. "I'm good for it bro."

2. "Can you spot me?"

3. "Yeah, i'm kind of in a bind for cash."

4. "I know you can afford it."

5. "I'll have it for you (insert bullshit time)."

6. "But you weren't home!"

7. "DUDE, that mess was from the other day."

8. "I dunno ask (name of "friend" they like to throw under the bus to avoid responsibility)."

Number 8 is my favorite. They must be a very tight knit group if all they do is throw each other under the bus and put the blame on someone else.

I really don't enjoy spending time and resource posting negative things, but I don't think I have ever been more disrespected by a group of people before. The sheer apathy, non-sensical rationalization, and the absence of responsibility is plain gross.

So for those of you who know who you are I never want to see or hear from you again. I can't stress this enough, once you leave I NEVER want to see any of you again.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Tickets bought. Passport in the Mail. Going to Europe for the first time! :)

Daily memory:

The freedom I felt when I got my motor scooter. I took that thing everywhere. It really helped me explore Everett all over. I remember sean and I would get in arguments and he would argue the benefits of a bicycle. I then would say "WHAt AboUt THe HiLLs?!" . . . How times have changed.

Monday, June 21, 2010

"All bicycles weigh fifty pounds. A thirty-pound bicycle needs a twenty-pound lock. A forty-pound bicycle needs a ten-pound lock. A fifty-pound bicycle doesn't need a lock." ~ unknown

I don't own a bike a lock.

I do however like the message.
Daily Memory:

This is one of my very first memories. My mom was driving Dana to kindergarten, and I was in the back seat. We were cruising merrily when a car hit us. Dana suffered a bloody lip. I remember being so worried about my brother, I kept saying I'm sorry and I kept trying to comfort him. It was pretty scary. Since that memory was so long ago I just remember feelings mostly. I was worried about my brother. That was pretty much it.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

One time Zaq and I drove out to the river road during a lighting storm. There wasn't any rain, just lightning. We sat on top of my white ford aerostar and watched it fan out along the clouds. Lightning is one of my favorite natural phenomena.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Fish and visitors stink after three days. - Benjamin Franklin

So fucking true.
3 memories today:

1. Swimming out to the buoy last night. I haven't got swimming in a long time. I forgot how solid of a work out it is.

2. When the family used to go out to Anacortes to go crabbing we used the round net pots, not the fancy fold up metal trap kind, we upgraded to those later. I remember once my dad pulled up a huuuuuuge sculpin that was munching on the turkey leg bait. The sculpin didn't even move till we got it on the dock. My dad whipped out his buck knife and stabbed it between the eyes. It squirmed alot, then he twisted it, and didn't squirm anymore. Additional crab bait he called it.

I think I'm going to take up crabbing soon. Season starts July 1st.

3. The time I traded my haloween candy for game time on sean's old mac. Escape velocity for the win!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

I think one of the most depressing places you can be is a world devoid of anything to look forward to. Knowing who I am I don't think I'll ever be there. As long as you are a person creating, innovating, or just plain moving you should always have something to look forward to. Birthdays, holidays, marriages, future families, future adventures, future living spaces, etc etc etc. You can break it down by the day, but as long as you have something to look forward to you should be smiling. If you honestly have nothing to look foward to though, do something.

Within the next few hours I have a feverish, bedridden, girlfriend to comfort. I'm very excited to be seeing her. Not because she's sick, but because I know she'll be smiling when I bring her egg flower soup. Sick or not, the angles from the corner of her smiling lips to her softly raised eyebrows will be the same. The same beautifully caring, softly flirtatious smile that is just beaming "I love you!" all over. I'm glad to be there to see her and I'm more elated that she'll be comforted when I get there. I look forward to spending time with her tonight.

I've never met anyone that I can spend an entire day with start to finish, hold through the night, dream about till morning, and wake up to repeat that same sequence. When we get multiple days together I look forward to that on repeat. I look forward to waking her up in the middle of the night with a barrage kisses just do it again when I wake her up in the morning.

I look forward to her sitting on my pianostool and us making music together. Alexis has a voice that can keep up with a 6 foot grand piano, not a lot of people can do that. She has all the intensity necessary to love, deal with, and keep up with me. If I fall apart, she will do everything she can to put me back together. In these regards she is the strongest woman I've ever spent time with. That ethereal component is what solidifies our connection. We can handle this brand of  intensity because that's just who we are.

It is so refreshing to not be piloting anything. I'm not giving orders. I'm not being the only source of stimulus in this relationship. I'm fucking inspired! New ideas fall out of the sky when I play piano and think about you. I put on a tie in the morning and think "I bet Alexis would like this outfit, oooh yeah!!". It's not give and take, it's I give, you give, we give to each other, we keep giving, loving, yearning, hugging, and living. It's mutually beneficial companionship at it's finest.

I was worried for a great deal of time I'd always be leading. I'm so thankful I have a hand to hold at my side, as opposed to pulling someone by the hand behind me. It's wonderful, and it's something we both deserve.

For years I'll have something to look forward to, and that's you babe.

Today's Memory

We're going way back on this one:


I remember playing laser tag with Sean and Friends a long time ago. I must have been 15 or so. I remember I climbed in a tree so no one could see me. Then i'd make noise and wait for people to come by. I took out so many people before they found me. It was a good day.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Today's Memory:

I think it may have been my senior year? Anyway, Sean, Tom and I bought a bunch of rafts and this time we were rafting outside of Howarth park. We had sombreros on because it was hot, and I think we had some McChickens too. We paddled pretty far out and we saw something floating in the water. Tom thought it was a dirty sock, I thought it was a seal fin, sean who was in a seperate raft but tethered to us was sent to investigate. . .

It was a decapitated goosehead. He lifted it with his paddle and just said "aHhhh!!" we got out of there and started laughing. So we then named each other, I was captain seal fin, tom was captain dirty sock, and sean was captain goosehead.

Good day.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Today's memory

Sunny days of my watch, my car, and a loud radio.

Bought my ticket to paris

aerial view of eiffel tower

picture by me

This photo is taken past the fence at high tide at Pigeon Creek. I rode my bike there. Had a beer and cigarette then watched the sun slowly settle over Hat Island. I like to ride my bike there to clear my head some days.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Where I left off

My last blog from my old blog ( left off at the day before the marathon. Here's the continuation:

I finished the marathon. It was a huuuuuge battle, 3 miles in I didn't think I was going to make it because I pulled my ham string 2 weeks prior. Then my knee started to hurt. 3 miles in I already wanted to give up and I had . . . 23 miles left.

The next 3 miles had to be the worst 3 miles I had ever ran. The pain got larger, my hopes got smaller, and I was getting more and more depressed at the failure I was about to endure. This was going to be the first endurance event I had ever entered that I wasn't going to finish. I don't think I've ever been more despondent while running.

Mile 4.5 - I'm running on the I-90 bridge. Still with every foot step things were feeling more and more hopeless. I tried taking my mind off it but to no avail.

The I-90 bridge connects to Mercer Island. It was sunday and usually about that time I would have been showering and getting ready for work. On Mercer Island my favorite co-worker, Pauline, lives. At mile marker 6 I was thinking, I wonder if Pauline will see me. She drives a 2010 RX and at the time there were very few on the road. So the minute I saw any headlights that were shaped like that. I immediately began to think, "wouldn't it be crazy if I saw her."

Mile marker 6, I see headlights in the distance, it's a white imported luxury SUV. AND!!!! - it was an mdx. Not her. So then I kept running and I had my head down for maybe a few seconds. I glance up and I see her! Her window is down she is honking and waving while driving 60 miles an hour in the direction. I wave with both hands like I'm trying to flag down a rescue helicopter in the middle of the pacific and I just started laughing. It was the best moment of the entire marathon, better than the finish. It completely changed my outlook, the pains grew more distant, and I was happy.

The next 14 miles were seamless. I was on pace, I had a huge smile on my face, anytime I got down I just thought of the fact that I have people cheering me on. I even missed a food stop and was like, whatever, you're going to finish.

Mile marker 20 it got hilly and tough again, but at that point I just thought, "pretend you're running to Everett High and back, you've done that run a million times, you can do it one more." Then before I knew it, I was crossing the finish line. I could check one more thing off of my list of life long things to do.

Afterward I had dinner with friends at Teracotta Red ( and then I slept. A lot of people gave me support through the entire endeavor. Some more than others, and for that I thank all of you greatly.


So that was the marathon.  A lot has happened between here and there. Plenty of lifelong memories have been forged. Somethings have been built and broken. It's been beautiful overall. The sights, the sounds, the touches and smells, they have been almost overwhelming.

As the days go past I will blog more of what has happened in between. 17 shows, lots of travelling, concerts, trips, old friends, new friends, there's plenty I need to write and that's what this blog is going to be about. My blogs have always helped me remember my stories, and organize my thoughts. I'm going to be consolidating many things soon and getting back to basics. Blogging is one of those things.
Today's Memory:

The day James, Aron, Dustin and I went to the swimming hole outside of Machias. It was mega hot out and we got a lot of swimming done.

more lights

pictures by me

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Today's memory:

the feeling of triumph after Sean, Nik, and I finished painted the VW van. Cream white top, deep blue bottom, orange wheels.

Friday, June 11, 2010

People like to be with mirrors
which is funny for few people find comfort there
however they are familiar.
Yesterdays memory:

Slightly overcast, the pacific ocean to my left, we were laughing about something then you got the hiccups. Mid-conversation I said "BAHHHHHH!!!!"

You're hiccups were gone.

Todays memory:

I remember when Sean's front porch was filled with 2 liter bottles, we were going to build a raft.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Daily memory:

One time Tom, Chaz, Sean, and I snuck on to jetty island at night time. Using 3 rafts and 20 chicken sandwiches. There were also snickers bars, that had "satisfies" written on the back, so we called them satisfies bars. "Hand me another satisfies bar!". We also built a fucking COLOSSAL fire. I mean HUUUUUUUUGE. I think that may have been one of my favorite adventures ever. It was so ridiculous. It was also warm enough to just sleep under the stars with just a sleeping bag.

This is

my favorite Billy Joel tune:

It's so incredibly well written.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010


cherished memory is:

When I lived in bremerton I lived between 2 bridges. One of my favorite runs of all time was a loop that connected to the 2 in a big circle back to my cute little home. I remember running that loop at night once and I heard a drive by shooting.

I ran home really fast.

Monday, June 7, 2010

31 things

“It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.” – Aristotle

The other night Alexis and I ran out of gas on 405. It was entirely my fault because I refuse to fix my broken gas gauge. Alexis was remarkably calm for it being pouring down rain, in the middle of night, on the sideway of an accident-prone freeway. That's just one of her personality traits though, if shits the fan, she takes action, she doesn't panic, and she remains calm and collected. It's a rare trait for anybody, let alone a 19 year-old girl. One of the many reasons she's so important to me.

Anyway I felt very disparaged so I decided to write down 31 things to help me refocus. There are a few redundancies here and there but you'll see how I wrote it word for word.

31 things:

1. 3 big runs a week

2. breakfast + piano and trumpet + lunch

3. a book a month with notes

4. bike to work when weather permits

5. be the first to arrive

6. write down who is important to you

7. strengthen those relationships

8. if something is holding you back, cut the ties

9. work with more focus

10. write down a cherished memory daily

11. endurance is the ultimate strength

12. buy a stand-up paddle board

13. new running shoes

14. lentil soup/wild rice recipe

15. trim the fat and refocus

16. who loves you?

17. host a classy invite only party every 2 months

18. commit to 40/20/10 (sit ups, push ups, pull ups)

19. send out one piece of snail mail daily

20. start (include bio, hobbies, work, contact)

21. new dress shoes, brown and black

22. buy more vests

23. score an awesome gig for the band

24. get into steel cut oats

25. climb a mountain or 2 this summer

26. work hard to break the grind

27. don’t take things so personally, people suck, it’s always been that way

28. I HAVE A FUTURE TO BUILD – one with a beautiful family eventually

29. self-improvement is necessary, fun, and a core to my foundation

30. this is so very important

31. shop for clothes before every haircut

I had a big run this morning, and I plan to do plenty tonight, but right now I'll write down a cherished memory. I want to write down my favorite memories because lately it feels like more of them are getting fainter and fainter.

During the summer while training for the marathon I used to run from Snohomish to my parents house in Everett. I would run down homeacres road and across the trestle. One time while running I rounded the corner at home acres and a bunch of cows started running once they saw me running. Then when I got on the trestle I saw 2 seals swimming up the river.

I'll have more stimulating memories I'll post as time goes on.

pictures by me. The bottom is not a mirror.


running to the garage from my parent's house. I'm leaving at 5.

That's colby during that bizarre snow storm we had some time ago. I can't believe how time is progressing lately. It feels completely non-linear.

8 more days and 2010 is half gone.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

If I were

If I were a month, I’d be november
If I were a day of the week, I’d be sunday morning
If I were a time of day, I’d be 5:00 a.m.
If I were a planet, I’d be dagobah
If I were a sea animal, I’d be a Nautilus
If I were a direction, I’d be southeast
If I were a piece of furniture, i'd be a chaise lounge
If I were a liquid, I’d be bourbon
If I were a gemstone, I’d be an indigo sapphire
If I were a tree, I’d be a coconut tree
If I were a tool, I’d be a hammer
If I were a flower, I’d be a Red Gallica Rose
If I were a kind of weather, I’d be sunshine on snow
If I were a musical instrument, I’d be a trumpet
If I were a color, I’d be deep red
If I were an emotion, I’d be vitality
If I were a fruit, I’d be a pomegranite
If I were a sound, a swelling piano
If I were an element, I’d be fire
If I were a car, I’d be a Black on Red Mercedes 280sl
If I were a food, I’d be steak on rice
If I were a place, I’d be the top of a comet
If I were a material, I’d be aluminum
If I were a taste, I’d be overpowering
If I were a scent, I’d be crisp
If I were an object, I’d be the vest in a 3 piece
If I were a body part, I’d be the shoulders
If I were a facial expression, I’d be goofy
If I were a song, I’d be a nocturne
If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be shined
If I were a book, I’d be a interesting read
If I were a language, I’d be taglog
If I were a mode of transporation, I’d be a bicycle
If I were an actor, I’d be ewan macgregor

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

shoes & feet

-Pair of your own-

If you had my shoes
shined and polished
clipped into a bicycle
tattered from stride
rested on a piano's pedal
How would you treat my feet?

Would you wear a suit that day?
Would you ride a century to your favorite island?
Would you run across bridges to the next town over?
Would your hands somersault across the ivory for a bit?

These shoes have danced on cliffs on mountains on islands in castles above oceans
I've lent a few pairs here and there, hoping to replace sighs with cares and tries and dares
And I've seen them replace bitter with sweet walking with glittler into neat suites with clean sheets.
These are the fruits of well-traveled work boots worn with a tie tucked behind three piece suits.

How long could you relish those fruits?
And how long could you keep them ripe?
And how could you possibly lose your boots?
How could you possibly trade ripe for tripe?

I shouldn't be confused when I see fruit fall off the tree not making it to seed.
I shouldn't be melancholic when a pummeled peach plummets ferments and turns alcoholic.
It's nature.
Naturally though I've never enjoyed seeing something turn to nothing.
And fortunately though for every hollowed piddly peach,
I have bountiful orchards and orange groves ahead and behind.

Run before you walk if you try these shoes, that's their only speed.
You weren't supposed to last a day in my garden barefoot.
That's why I lent out pairs,
Hoping to inspire you all beyond fail.

And I shouldn't be confused, melancholic, and
surprised to see all of you fall
After all I've only ever seen you crawl.

So when I lose my shoes and you're sucking menthol
Laughing at my off the rocker downfall
Feeling good finally making sense of it all
Fortifying foundations for your stonewalls
Being as cold as whitewalls of winter snowfall
I'll still be laughing and dancing through it all.


This is not how I treat my feet
I'll lace back up and race tomorrow

How would you treat my feet?
You would treat them like yours.
Carelessly, aimlessly, and without a pair of your own.


I wrote this the other day just trying to sort out some feelings.

Hello june, may you were wierd. BIG FINISH!!! And I had the most incredible day/night yesterday. I'm back in action, wahoo!